Tuesday, February 12, 2013


I have Multiple Sclerosis.

Hmm.  Hardly seems any more or less real when I type it out like that.

I have 4 kids.  I'm a nurse.  I like to run.  I have MS.

Again.  Seems hardly more or less real in print.

Maybe I should apologize for telling my news like this.  Maybe not.  I'm not really sure.  How do you tell the world you had a life-changing diagnosis?  Quite frankly I am weary of talking to people about it ... telling my story over and over and over again.  Letting people hug me while they cry and trying to cry myself.

Is it okay that I have not really cried much myself?  Did all this really happen?

Waking up with double vision a couple weeks ago.  Just dealing with it for a few days.  Going to my eye doctor and then for a CT scan.  Ending up in the Emergency Dept halfway through a shift at work.  Being admitted to the neurology floor at Yale.  2 MRI's and a lumbar puncture later and the words that still ring hollow ...

We believe you have Multiple Sclerosis.

Excuse me?  What did you just say?

Now 8 days later and it does not even seem any more real.  I finished the 5 days of IV steroids it took to reduce the swelling in my brain and clear up the double vision.  I went to my follow up appt at the Yale MS Clinic.  I'm waiting for some additional tests to come back in order to determine which medications I'll have to take for the rest of my life.

For the rest of my life.

I have not taken an antibiotic in ten years and I am now going to take major medication for the rest of my life.  My vision goes double again when I read through the lists of possible side effects.

Numb.  Yep.  That's where I am now.  Numb.

And grateful.
For my God who remains Faithful and True.
My husband who is my best friend and confidant.
My kids who pretty much thought it was awesome they got to help give me IV meds at home.
And my friends who have surrounded me with support and prayer.
Keep praying for us.  Your prayers are holding us up.


  1. Amy, I have been in awe of you from the first time I met you! Your wit, strength, humor. I dont know you well, but I do know HE works through you and perhaps THIS is YOUR purpose?!? Your story, your witness. How HE brought you to & through

  2. O.K., Amy, maybe I'm out of bounds here, but... we need you to write more. I know your already busy world just got "busier," so I don't mean to press you, but you have a real gift with words, and you have some important things to teach us. Just saying.