Saturday, July 7, 2012

Reflections on a year gone by ...

This has been a difficult but good year for all of us.  I've been working full time as a nurse, which I love, but which also drains the life out of me at times.  Pete has been going to school full time, which he loves, but which also drains the life out of him at times.  Kenni has a will and drive beyond her years, but there has been a consistent struggle as she learns to use that within the boundaries of our home and the fact that she really is only ten.  Sasha is still our lover, but with that temperament comes emotions that are ever on the edge, happy and sad.  Ashebir grew inches both in stature and in character, but he still struggles with change and trust. And Tariku lives every minute to the fullest, which has led to both extreme fun and also stitches.

We have intentionally hid ourselves away from the world this year. We were in survivor mode really, just trying to make it to the next week and stay together as a family.

There were tears shed by all.  And there were a lot of really difficult conversations.  But it was good.  It was really good for us.  Like anything, I'm not sure I would go back and willfully choose the difficult, but now I am starting to see the purpose and growth through it all.

My beloved and patient husband has walked with me through my struggle this year and he has pushed me further than I ever thought I would go.  I have cried, I have been angry, but he knew I needed to grow.  Our conversations have been very difficult for me, I not one for confrontation and vulnerability.  But the ever growing result has been a deeper intimacy and depth to our relationship and friendship than we have experienced in very long time.

And now it is summer.
And we are starting to pull out of our survivor mode and work on shifting into thriving mode.

We went a little crazy this spring and bought a pop-up camper.  It's old and ghetto, and has proven to be the source of enormous amounts of crazy fun this year already.  We camped overnight in the backyard for Ashebir's 6th birthday, and then we took it to the CT shore for a few days.  We are headed back out tomorrow night for another 4 nights of fun at a state park.  We even figured out that it is possible to completely tear it down in the absolute pouring rain.  Again, would not have been our first choice, but it will now make for a forever memory.

Our commitment this summer is to capturing the most of it together.  We will be outside a lot, we will be playing a lot of games together outside a lot.  And we will continue to keep our electronic entertainment at a minimum.  It has its place, but we don't want it to be a major player in our summer fun.

And we will dream together as a family.  Dream about the future.  Dream about where God may lead us next year as Pete finishes his master's degree.  And dream about what God would have us do now, in this moment, to change our world for Him.

The journey is fun, but the journey is hard.
And I have learned that I have so very far to go.
I am more grateful everyday that I serve a God who is forever faithful and forever unchanging.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen."  Ephesians 3:20-21

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