#teamhaiti2015 Update

"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ."

Ephesians 4: 11-13

Greetings friends and family!!

Since the cell reception is not so hot where the team is in Haiti, I've been getting about 1 text a day ... I can actually picture Pete walking around in circles on a roof somewhere trying to find a signal.  :)  Here is the latest text as he sent it.  I'll add some interpretation at the end. 

"Amazing day, kenni helping others learn Creole tk big help too - 11 new salvations tonight!  Const tues wed Vbs thurs calico fri - luv u!"

They'll be doing contruction projects Tuesday (today - this text was from last night) and Wednesday.

VBS will be Thursday with the school kids ... they are on break this week so no regular school.

They'll be going to Calico beach on Friday to relax and debrief.  We've been there before, very beautiful and a popular break spot for foreigners.  :)

Thank you for your prayers for the team and the families here waiting for them to return.  I have had such a wonderful time with my 2 kids here, we hardly ever have such undivided time together.  We've been singing, praying for the team and just being loud and silly together.  I spent a couple days with my sister, but now I'm home again.  

I've been reflecting quite a bit on the joy of serving ... there is a tangible joy in serving others ... a reciprocity that cannot be found in anything else.  We have something to offer the people of New Caanan, but they very much have something to offer us as well.  Our family's prayer continues to be that each one of you gets to experience this mystery with your children.  We have been blessed beyond measure by the joy of serving and it has marked our lives forever.  

Until the whole world knows His name ...

and with so very much love and thanks for all of you.

Amy (for Pete) 

Healing

"Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever."  taken from The Westminster Catechism

Healing.

The answer is yes.  I pray for healing.  And Pete prays for healing.  And our kids pray for healing for me.

Truth be told, though, I have a bigger prayer. We have a bigger prayer.

A prayer that God placed inside of me as a young girl.
A prayer that has been at the center of my being ever since.

That my life would make much of Him.  Of Jesus.  And His work in me.
Because this life is not about me.  Or my health.  Or my family.

This life is about Him.  It's about Jesus and His redemptive work on the cross.  About Jesus coming to this world to make a way for us to spend forever with Him.

And so, yes.  I do pray for healing.  But that is not my central prayer.  That is not the prayer that leads me to my knees, begging God for His work.  That prayer remains, "God, my life is in your hands.  Do with me what will make the most of You.  What will show the world around me the most about You.  What will bring the most glory to Your Name.  Make my life less about me and more about You."

Perhaps this will come through healing.

Perhaps it won't.

But, I gave my heart to the God of this universe when I was a young girl.  He loves me.  He wants what is very best for me. And He is in control of both this universe and me.  And there I will rest.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
Jeremiah 17:7-8

How are you doing?

How am I doing?

That is a question I am asked quite a bit these days.  And, most of the time I'm not exactly sure how to answer that question.

Because, I think that most people are asking me with the intention of finding out how I feel physically.  And, while I do have some physical challenges I've never encountered before, the physical is not what tends to push me over the edge into, "Actually I'm not doing so great today."

And, with that comes the second part of that question for me ... that being, "Do you really want to know?"  I don't mean to be sarcastic (okay ... maybe I do sometimes), but do you really want to know?

How often do we ask that question of people everyday?  "How are you doing?"  It's a common greeting, offered flippantly the majority of the time.

And when we say it, do we really want to know how the person is doing?  Are we ready for the answer and are we expecting that person to be honest?

Because I'd venture to guess that the majority of the time the person I ask really isn't completely fine.  What are the chances really?

For instance, I was asked this question recently:  "Amy, how are you doing?"

And, I'm not sure what snapped inside of me this particular day at this particular time, but I opened my mouth and out came honesty:

"Actually I'm tired.  Really, really tired.  Tired physically, tired emotionally.  Tired of tripping when I used to be able to just walk like a normal person.  Tired of asking for help every time I need a jar opened.  Tired of trying to concentrate when I'm tired so my speech doesn't sound slurred.  Tired of sticking myself with a needle everyday.  I'm tired of the welts that are left behind, and I've only been doing it for 2 weeks.   And overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed by my diagnosis and my medication.  Overwhelmed by my job.  Overwhelmed by my kids.  Overwhelmed by the thoughts in my head about how much our life and goals have had to change these past few months.  And grieving.  Grieving what has happened and grieving what will never happen now that this is a part of our story." 

And then I breathed.

And received a *blank stare* in response.

Okay, truth me told, what I said at that moment was not so very eloquent as this.  It was probably more of a blubbering report of tiredness, frustration and insanity ...

But, what it did do was scare that person who asked me right off.  He walked away after only mumbling a couple words of disbelief.  Because all he expected to hear was that I was "fine."

I've been thinking about this encounter for a while now.  At first I was hurt and angry at him.  Because this is someone who should have been genuinely interested in my response.  Or, at least I thought/assumed he should have been.  Then I was angry at myself ... for opening myself and getting hurt.

Then I really began to think about it.  About how many times I've asked the same question:  "How are you?" Did I really mean to find an answer?  Have I always been expecting to hear honesty?  And, have I been prepared to sit and listen when all is not fine?

And, the honest answer, of course, is no.  Of course not.

So, the honest answer to that question for me it this.  Sometimes I'm fine, but sometimes I'm not.

But all the time I am more aware of myself and the world around me than I ever have been in my life.

And, for that, I'm pretty sure I'm grateful.  Most of the time.

A Time of Silence

I was diagnosed with MS 67 days ago.
The past 67 days have been the most full of any 67 days of my life to this point.
I have cried, I have been angry, I have been confused, I have questioned everything ... but mostly I have been quiet.  Sometimes the quiet has been a push everyone away and pout kind of quiet ... but sometimes the quiet has been a place of solace, of reflection and of healing.
I am not a still person.
But my world was halted and I was forced to be still.
And God is continuing to force me to really consider what drives me.
What is it inside of me that really makes me tick ... what really gives me satisfaction and contentment?
Is it Him?
Or is it my ability to accomplish bigger and bigger things?
Until this time in my life I have never let anything hold me back ... I have run marathons and ultramarathons ... I have brought my children to the other side of the world, I have finished nursing school in a year with 4 kids,  I have worked 9 overnight 12 hour shifts in a row at the hospital, I have stayed up late, gotten up early and accomplished what so many told me was impossible.
But now I have been forced to sit.  And think.  And really analyze what is at the base of what I call myself.
And I wasn't always happy with what I found.
Because what I found when all that was stripped away was that I didn't really know what to do when there was nothing to "do."
And I was not sure if I could rely on the truth in Psalm 23 like I thought I could.

1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

for his name’s sake.

4 Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

Is the Lord My Shepherd really all I need?  With him do I really lack nothing?  
Sigh.  I have spent a lot of time in the quiet thinking about this very thing over the past 67 days.
And I have learned to begin to like the quiet.  And the questions that do not always have answers.  
And I have only yet begun to hand back to Him the dreams I had for my life that really should have been His all along.  The entire process has been terrifying ... yet at the same time it has been exactly what Psalm 23 promised it would be ... comforting.  And refreshing.  

Numb

I have Multiple Sclerosis.

Hmm.  Hardly seems any more or less real when I type it out like that.

I have 4 kids.  I'm a nurse.  I like to run.  I have MS.

Again.  Seems hardly more or less real in print.

Maybe I should apologize for telling my news like this.  Maybe not.  I'm not really sure.  How do you tell the world you had a life-changing diagnosis?  Quite frankly I am weary of talking to people about it ... telling my story over and over and over again.  Letting people hug me while they cry and trying to cry myself.

Is it okay that I have not really cried much myself?  Did all this really happen?

Waking up with double vision a couple weeks ago.  Just dealing with it for a few days.  Going to my eye doctor and then for a CT scan.  Ending up in the Emergency Dept halfway through a shift at work.  Being admitted to the neurology floor at Yale.  2 MRI's and a lumbar puncture later and the words that still ring hollow ...

We believe you have Multiple Sclerosis.

Excuse me?  What did you just say?

Now 8 days later and it does not even seem any more real.  I finished the 5 days of IV steroids it took to reduce the swelling in my brain and clear up the double vision.  I went to my follow up appt at the Yale MS Clinic.  I'm waiting for some additional tests to come back in order to determine which medications I'll have to take for the rest of my life.

For the rest of my life.

I have not taken an antibiotic in ten years and I am now going to take major medication for the rest of my life.  My vision goes double again when I read through the lists of possible side effects.

Numb.  Yep.  That's where I am now.  Numb.

And grateful.
For my God who remains Faithful and True.
My husband who is my best friend and confidant.
My kids who pretty much thought it was awesome they got to help give me IV meds at home.
And my friends who have surrounded me with support and prayer.
Keep praying for us.  Your prayers are holding us up.

Reflections on a year gone by ...

This has been a difficult but good year for all of us.  I've been working full time as a nurse, which I love, but which also drains the life out of me at times.  Pete has been going to school full time, which he loves, but which also drains the life out of him at times.  Kenni has a will and drive beyond her years, but there has been a consistent struggle as she learns to use that within the boundaries of our home and the fact that she really is only ten.  Sasha is still our lover, but with that temperament comes emotions that are ever on the edge, happy and sad.  Ashebir grew inches both in stature and in character, but he still struggles with change and trust. And Tariku lives every minute to the fullest, which has led to both extreme fun and also stitches.

We have intentionally hid ourselves away from the world this year. We were in survivor mode really, just trying to make it to the next week and stay together as a family.

There were tears shed by all.  And there were a lot of really difficult conversations.  But it was good.  It was really good for us.  Like anything, I'm not sure I would go back and willfully choose the difficult, but now I am starting to see the purpose and growth through it all.

My beloved and patient husband has walked with me through my struggle this year and he has pushed me further than I ever thought I would go.  I have cried, I have been angry, but he knew I needed to grow.  Our conversations have been very difficult for me, I not one for confrontation and vulnerability.  But the ever growing result has been a deeper intimacy and depth to our relationship and friendship than we have experienced in very long time.

And now it is summer.
And we are starting to pull out of our survivor mode and work on shifting into thriving mode.

We went a little crazy this spring and bought a pop-up camper.  It's old and ghetto, and has proven to be the source of enormous amounts of crazy fun this year already.  We camped overnight in the backyard for Ashebir's 6th birthday, and then we took it to the CT shore for a few days.  We are headed back out tomorrow night for another 4 nights of fun at a state park.  We even figured out that it is possible to completely tear it down in the absolute pouring rain.  Again, would not have been our first choice, but it will now make for a forever memory.

Our commitment this summer is to capturing the most of it together.  We will be outside a lot, we will be playing a lot of games together outside a lot.  And we will continue to keep our electronic entertainment at a minimum.  It has its place, but we don't want it to be a major player in our summer fun.

And we will dream together as a family.  Dream about the future.  Dream about where God may lead us next year as Pete finishes his master's degree.  And dream about what God would have us do now, in this moment, to change our world for Him.

The journey is fun, but the journey is hard.
And I have learned that I have so very far to go.
I am more grateful everyday that I serve a God who is forever faithful and forever unchanging.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen."  Ephesians 3:20-21

Trying to process home

Today I went to the farmer’s market in my city. It’s generally one of my favorite places to go.

It’s hard to explain exactly what happens when we come home from faraway places like Haiti. It’s not like I make conscious decisions toward dysfunction. It’s more like I’m standing somewhere normally familiar and okay and my brain just short circuits.

And then I am completely overtaken by the urge to run away.

There was food everywhere … beautiful, yummy, fresh fruits and vegetables. And I was using WIC vouchers to get my produce, which should be a good thing, right?

Well, it is a good thing.

It’s just really hard to process when I was only a week ago triaging patients in an outdoor clinic who are unable to feed their children enough for normal growth and development, never mind fresh fruits and vegetables.

So, because I am a US citizen in a certain income bracket the State of CT will help me buy produce for my children.

But, there are mommies in Haiti who are living in a world of poverty I cannot even imagine who have no access to adequate food for their babies. And no government who cares to intervene.

And this comes down to where we were born.

Where I was born was not a choice I made or a circumstance for which I can take pride.

I am here. And they are there.

And now I can sit and eat my salad.

Only it just makes me nauseous.

Coming home is really hard.

August 10

It is hot.

It is very hot.

Not hot like CT in a heatwave.

Hot like in your microwave hot.

And there are a lot of people here already.

And there are more coming.

A lot more coming.

And there is no power.

And we can’t flush the toilets.

But.

I just rocked a beautiful little boy to sleep for his nap.

Sasha is playing cards with the kids.

Kenni is rolling a ball on the floor with the toddlers in their room.

Tariku and Ashebir are sacked out from a morning of playing in the sun.

Pete is building bunkbeds outside using power tools plugged into a generator.

Rachel is sanding wood for the bunks.

Kim is helping too.

And it is in these moments that all seems well with the world.

This is why we take our children and spent our vacations in orphanages.

Because there is a piece of life that we would never experience outside of these places.

Worth the money.

Worth the risk.

Worth it all.

This is life.

And Jesus said, “I have come to give you life, life to the full.”

Haiti :)

We arrived safely yesterday afternoon.

The airport is crowded and hot beyond your wildest dreams, but we managed to leave with all our suitcases and baggage accounted for! God is good.

The kids are having a ball.

The boys spent the day playing outside with all the kids. They were up at 5 am and went strong until about 7 pm tonight. They are sacked out now. The girls are as well.

Pete was able to get out and purchase the supplies to make a prototype for the bunkbeds they'll be constructing next week when the team arrives. Purchasing supplies always takes longer than you think in Haiti!

Me and the girls spent the day around the compound ... playing with kids, braiding hair, supervising water time and just enjoying out time together.

We love you all. We covet your prayers.

It is a good time, but it is hot and crowded. Pray for our patience and our love.

:)

Can't wait to see the team in just a few days!!

Hopefully I'll be attaching some pictures for you.

Amy

Water

Part of the responsibility of our group was bringing down supplies in order to make a water filtration system for the doctor’s compound. Basically, it consisted of Lowe’s 5 gallon buckets made into water filters. One of my nursing school friends, Jon, put 10 of them together and we set them up outside the house. It takes approximately an hour to filter one gallon of water, so the process is quite slow. The kids were arriving with their containers long before we had enough water to supply it to them. Before we could give them the water, we had to clean out their containers with bleach because they had been previously filled with contaminated water. So, my job was to start with one container and transfer the bleach water down the row of children until all the containers were clean.

Then they lined up for the water. We have some amazing pictures of these children, ranging in age from 2 to 15 waiting patiently in line for clean water. We were so proud of the filtration system, but felt immediately inadequate to meet the high needs of those right around us. We sent most kids home with some clean water, but we had no where near enough to fill all their containers to the top.

This was also the night that we had a meal for the kids and their families. Part of our team went to the market to get the food that was needed (the funds were donated by one of their moms back home) and then the ladies that work with Dr. Franco spent the majority of the day cooking everything from scratch. There was rice and beans and chicken with sauce. While I did not have any of it, it sure did smell delicious when I was serving it. I have truly never seen so much rice in all my life.

Before dinner Dr. Franco did a church service for everyone. The kids were all lined up on the benches outside, with the adults standing behind and to the sides. There were probably 200 people there at least. Church always lasts longer in other countries than it does here in the States. We sang songs in English and in Creole and people gave testimonies and Dr. Franco preached. He preached in Creole and then translated for us so that we could understand. He is a provocative combination of evangelical and humanitarian. He is a surgeon, and wants so desperately to bring proper medical care to those in need … but his heart is as a pastor. His greatest desire is for the people to come to know Jesus personally. It was both challenging and refreshing.

During the message, Miss Sasha went from sitting right in the middle of the kids in the front row to being held by several members of our team. She won their hearts over on this trip that’s for sure. During the testimony time Sasha went right up front and told everyone that she loved Jesus and that she hoped they would choose to follow Him too. She is a preacher in the making.

The dinner was amazing. The ladies had prepared a pan of rice bigger than I have ever seen, filled with beans and awesome homemadeness. I scooped rice onto plates until my arms were sore while others did chicken and sauce and others handed out plates. The children ate first, followed by the teenagers and adults. We ran out of chicken first, which was hard. So many people did not get chicken. How do you explain that? I’m sorry you won’t be getting chicken. That sucked is an understatement.

We fed people for over an hour, letting more people in the gate when the others were finished.
Sasha was exhausted by 8 o’clock. I took her inside and scrubbed her down and laid her in bed. She was out within minutes. Nothing like a long life filled day to help you sleep well.

The people were there until late, eating everything that the ladies had prepared, and taking with them all the water that had been filtered. We were exhausted, that good kind of exhausted when you have given of yourself in a way that uses all your energy. As with other nights, we sat and talked about the day by the light of the generator power. So much to debrief.

Porridge in Haiti

Many of you know that I ate porridge for a year after the experience I had at the 30 hour famine a couple years back. Little did I know that that experience would hit me in the face all over again, this time on the other side of the world. When it was time for dinner at the orphanage, all the kids sat at long picnic like tables inside the dining area. Each child was given a metal bowl filled with a corn meal porridge that looked exactly like what I had eaten and a spoon.

I ate my porridge out of choice. There was no choice with these children.

I did not have a perfect track record in eating my porridge. There were days when I forgot, days when I did not plan ahead and ate something else on the road, and days when I just skipped lunch b/c I didn’t feel like eating it again. But this past week I sat with beautiful little boys and girls who eat this every night for dinner (and perhaps lunch and breakfast too, I was afraid to ask). Not out of choice, or because it’s cool to write a blog about. They eat this porridge every night because it’s all they have to eat.

I took pictures through my tears. Porridge for dinner everyday and no mommy or daddy to tuck you in bed at night. This is their world. This is a world I cannot even imagine being a part of everyday as a little child.

I know the big question many of you will ask yourself.

And the answer is yes. Yes, it is potentially possible to adopt these kids. If you really want to. And really wanting to is going to involve a level of grit and commitment you have never had to muster before. Adopting from Haiti is different. It's complicated. But it is the complicated children who really need adoption.

Feel free to ask me about adoption if you are interested ...if you believe you have the grit and commitment that will be required. These kids are older, they are sibling groups, they have special needs and yes, it will cost a tremendous amount of money ... but children like this are among the most needy. Adoption is not for everyone, but I can point you in the right direction if you are genuinely interested. Please know that I do not have any special connections, just information about who to talk to in order to ask questions.

And, please do not "shop" for children in any of my pictures. This is not the purpose for which I took these pictures and I do not personally know the individual stories of any of these children.

Instead, please let the faces of these children prompt you to pray and to advocate.

For them specifically, but also for the children all over this world who live parallel lives to these beautiful children in Haiti.

Our world is huge. The need is even bigger.

Be a voice of change. Be an agent of change.

Pictures

This was taken the first day of our medical clinics in the tent city. These beautiful people were displaced after the earthquake, and now a year later they are still living in tents.

A year in a tent.

That is something I cannot even imagine.

And there is no promise of change anytime soon.

Many people wondered what Sasha did while I was working on the medical end of things. Well, as you can see from the above picture, she was not in any way bored. :) She quickly made friends outside with the children of the tent city ... they played games, colored pictures and just spent time together. She was in her element.

Haiti Part 2

So many people wondered how Sasha would do on this trip.

Well, you can be rest assured that Sasha adjusted beautifully and had the time of her life. Here is a classic example of just how easy it is to go with what you have when you are little. This is Sasha sound asleep on the floor at JFK. :)

She carried her new doll that she got from mom mom and grandpa for Christmas all over Haiti. Here Abrianna is fast asleep with her at JFK. Later in the week she was riding along in the front seat as we drove through the political unrest, and then Abrianna even had a chance to be sprayed down with alcohol after we left the cholera clinic.

Taking Sasha with me was the best decision ever. Not only did the trip change her life, but seeing Haiti through her eyes changed mine as well. I love you, Miss Sasha and we are so very proud of the responsible and delightful spirit you added to this adventure.

So many more thoughts to come ... so much nursing school stuff in front of me. You'll have to be patient. :)

Haiti Part 1

Last week I was riding in the back of a pick up truck through the streets of Port au Prince. At one point we were driving through political unrest complete with SWAT teams and UN soldiers everywhere.

This week I went to the gym and ran 5 miles on a treadmill.

On Wednesday I was haggling with street vendors for good prices on art in 100 degree sun.

Then the next day here in Middletown I picked out perfectly round imported apples from a display case inside a store that had no less than 10 varieties of said apples to choose from.

Now that I am sitting here in front of my computer, the trip seems sort of like a dream. The details are surreal and I am having trouble assimilating them with my life.

I will try and write what I can. I hope it makes sense.

I will be honest. I did not expect this trip to affect me like it did.

I have been lot of places and I have seen a lot of things in this world. I have seen poverty and sickness and injustice. But, the difference is, that I have never seen such things so close to home. Haiti is practically in our backyard people. It is a 3 1/2 hour direct flight from JFK to Port au Prince. That's closer than California!

And yet we sit in our warm safe homes and pretend like it is far, far away.

But now I have been there. And you are reading my blog. So, now we are both responsible for what we know.

Whenever one of us comes back from a trip like this we are bombarded with people who say they want to come next time. This particular trip has been no exception.

Will I go again? The possibility is very real. We are thinking and praying about going this summer after I am finished school. If we go, it will be as a family.

Can you go? Again, the possibility is very real. Haiti is close and Haiti is accessible. I would be more than happy to talk with you about serving in Haiti, if you are interested. But, please take the time to read my next few posts before asking me about it. While it may be close by, you will need to be prepared for inconsistent electricity, no hot water, air conditioning or fans, and very long drives in the back of pick up trucks over insanely bumpy roads.

With that said, a trip to Haiti also has the potential to quite literally change your life.

So, I would say that the long drives and lack of air conditioning are more like character builders rather than difficult factors to deal with. Talk to my daughter Sasha. She lived her 7 days in Haiti with great zeal and had the time of her life.

To be honest, I am not the actual person you would need to talk to about being a part of a trip like this. But, I can put you into contact with that person if you are interested. She is my friend and she is a dreamer just like me. She will also be very honest with you about what to expect and how you can be a part of changing the world in Haiti.

This is sort of a teaser blog post. My pictures will be back with me on Monday night and then I have no less than 8 pages worth of blogs to post which I will do so, complete with the pictures to accompany the stories. Be patient. The wait will be worth it.

Walk for Water …

This past week our family had the opportunity to attend Soulfest, a Christian concert festival held in New Hampshire. After a week of camping in the rain and sludging through the mud we were ready to come home and sleep in our own beds.

Above all the concerts and fellowship one event stands as the life changer for me.

On Saturday morning Kendalyn and I had the opportunity to participate in what’s called a “Walk for Water.” Basically, each person carries a 5 gallon bucket one mile out to a river, fills the bucket with water, and carries it one mile back.

The purpose of this activity is to show how difficult it is to carry water even one mile ... yet women and children carry water many more miles everyday all over the world. And often the water they carry, the water it takes most of the day to collect, is not even sanitary enough to bathe in, never mind drink or cook in. Yet it is the water they use for all daily activities.

How much water would I use each day if I had to carry it all even one mile each way to my home?

The average American uses 100 gallons of water each day. 100 gallons of clean and refreshing water. Water we can use for any purpose we wish without a care in the world.

It would have taken me 20 trips on my walk for water in order to carry that much water back on Saturday.

I can tell you now I would not have made it 20 times.

I’m not sure I would have made it 5 times. Let's just say I was sore for days even after just one trip.

At the beginning we were all together, maybe 50 people or so, each of us with our orange 5 gallon bucket. I had to fight for Kendalyn to be able to participate. They tried to tell me she was too young, that maybe we should save the buckets for a “real” walker. After many attempts at being nice, I basically just told them I was taking a bucket for her because she really wanted to do this. Why do people fight with mothers?

So Kenni and I started walking together. Oh yes, and I was carrying Tariku on my back in the backpack.

And then a man with a video camera asked if he could ask us a couple questions.
Oh sure, why not?

So, he casually asked Kenni why she was walking.

And, as if the very voice of God spoke through her, she said, “I’m walking for my brother Tariku and his first mom and her friends.”

And that’s when I lost it. Completely.

I then tried my best to answer his question as to why I walked. I blubbered through some sort of variation of what she had just so eloquently said and we walked on.

The walk out wasn’t so bad. An empty 5 gallon bucket doesn’t really weigh too much. An active 20 month old baby boy on your back is rather heavy, but I’ve done that plenty of times before.

We waited in line at the creek for our water. Knowing that in order to make the exercise realistic I would need to care a substantial amount of water, I asked the man to fill mine as full as he could. Kenni then filled her bucket with about a gallon of water I then dumped her water in my bucket and had him fill hers again. So my bucket was filled to about 3 inches below the top.

5 gallons of water weighs approximately 45 pounds. That seems all well and good until you try and walk with that much water in a bucket. It’s not only heavy, but incredibly awkward, at the same time. And add to that the 20 month old baby boy on my back trying to climb out of his backpack and the tears running down my face ... we were quite the site.

It’s quite the trick just trying to keep all the water in the bucket. If you’re going to walk that far to carry the water you sure as heck don’t want any of it to spill over the sides along the way.

While I was starting to fall behind, Kendalyn was in front of me leading the way and talking to everyone that crossed our path. She was telling them all about how they too should be walking for water rather than merely standing by the sidelines. That’s my girl. :)

Over the course of the mile I had to put my bucket of water down many times. But we both made it to the end ... tired, with sore hands and arm muscles, but we made it. One mile with one bucket of water. Hardly an accomplishment when I think of all the women and children who walk miles each day to carry water home, just to sustain life. Why me? Why them?

I'd challenge you to do some reading. Check out www.globalbenefit.org to find out more about our walk for water, as well as information on people who walk for water everyday.

And one of these days I'm going to organize my own walk for water here in CT.
Anyone want to help me?

Psalm 15

Psalm 15

"LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?
He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken."

Now there's a list worth working on.
He who does these things will never be shaken.